Thoughts

Happy?

I have been told over and over to tell myself that I deserve to be happy. To stop sabotaging my life and to stop punishing myself by either starving or binging.

The problem is… what is happy? I have always felt emotions so acutely… that as a child my grandmother called me her Tenderheart Care Bear. I take everything so personally. Sure, I may have learned to hide it on the outside, but it still hurts.

Today I am declaring to everyone that I deserve to be happy, healthy and loved. I reserve the right to say ‘no.’ Its something that I am had at and probably won’t use much but sometimes you just have to say no.  I will treat you and everyone with respect and ask that you do the same for me. I deserve to be hugged, cuddled and talked to without feeling like a patient. I want to be alive again and it starts today.

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